자녀를 잘 돌보는 것은 기쁨이자 의무
토요일 일을 마치고 랭스터프와 더플린의 팀호튼으로 왔다. 이십 분 가량의 시간이 있어 잠시 몇 줄이라도 읽고 갈까 해서다. 마침 김선영집사님께서 오셔서 프렌치 바닐라 한 잔을 사주신다. 그녀는 언제 보아도 따뜻하고 포근하다. 딸아이가 찬양팀 연습이 있어 교회에 태워준 후 기다릴 곳이 마땅치 않아 왔다고 한다.
김선영 집사는 토론토에서 딸을 돌보고 있다. 말하자면 기러기 엄마인 셈이다. 자녀 교육을 위해 거름이 됨을 자청했다. 그렇지 않아도 오늘 타이거 맘이 필요한 것은 아닐까라는 생각을 해보았다. 서양식으로 자녀들이 알아서 하도록 내버려 두면 잘 될 것 같지만 그렇지 않을 수도 있다. 자녀들에게 높은 꿈과 목표를 세우도록 도와주고 거기에 닿아가도록 격려하고 독려함이 필요하지 않을까. 문제는 어떻게 동기부여를 하느냐이다. 올해 11학년(한국으로 치면 고등학교 2학년)인 딸아이가 공부를 잘 하고 있다고 하니 다행이다.
아침에 프랑스의 여배우 ‘소피 마르소’를 인터뷰한 기사를 읽었다. 그녀 역시 자녀 교육을 최우선으로 생각하고 있었다. 인도에서 온 한 친구는 아들과 딸의 결혼할 상대를 이미 주선해 두었다 한다. 부모가 집안끼리 결혼에 대한 서약을 하면 나중에 커서 그와 결혼을 하게 되는 듯하다. 우리의 옛날 풍습이 그러하였던가. 그는 자녀들에게 좋은 점수만 받아오라고 하고 자녀가 원하는 것은 무엇이든 해준다고 한다. 그렇게 하니 자녀들이 부모의 말을 잘 듣고 부모와 갈등도 없단다. 큰 아들은 엔지니어링을 전공하고 있다.
토론토 스타 토요일(28일) 신문에는 딸을 LPGA 선수로 만든 한국 출신 아버지의 이야기가 기사화 되었다. 직장일까지 그만두고 딸을 위해 프로골프 선수가 되도록 뒷바라지 해왔다. 딸의 이름은 레베가 리 벤섬(Rebecca Lee- Bentham), 올해 19세이다. 레베카는 지난해 11월 대학을 포기하고 프로에 입문하기로 결정했는데 다음 주 호주로 가서 LPGA 시즌 개막전에 출전할 예정이란다.
부모가 자식을 위해 꿈을 심어주고 보살펴주는 것은 당연한 일이나 레베카의 아버지처럼 하기란 쉽지 않다. 인구가 그리 많지 않고 땅덩어리가 크지 않은 한국에서 꾸준히 인재가 나오는 이유는 부모의 희생이 있었기 때문에 가능한 것이 아닐까.
최근 PGA투어에 입문한 노승열, 배상문 선수도 프로리그에 잘 적응을 하고 있다. 이들 역시 상당한 잠재력을 가지고 있다. 조만간 우승까지도 가능하리라 믿는다. 이들 역시 부모의 희생을 바탕으로 성장하였으리라.
김선영집사님과 레베카 아빠에게 행운이 있길 빈다. 자녀들을 잘 돌보는 것은 모든 부모의 기쁨이자 의무이다.
'Deep down, I caied happy tears'
Rebecca Lee-Bentham, 19, trains at Daytona Beach, Fla., on Thursday for the Australian Women's Open in Melbourne.
Roberto Gonzalez/APIt’s the only job Rebecca Lee-Bentham has ever wanted.
From the age of 12, when her dad let her swap the violin and piano for golf clubs, she’s worked to become a member of the LPGA, the world’s top women’s professional tour.
Seven years on, the graduate of Northview Heights Secondary School in North York is poised to realize her dream. She leaves Sunday for Melbourne and the first event of the 2012 LPGA season, the $1.1 million (U.S.) Australian Women’s Open.
And, as has been the case from that first day on the driving range, the man handing her the clubs will be her dad, Ken, who is going to be her caddy.
“He’s the one who knows my game the best,” Lee-Bentham, 19, said in an interview this week from Daytona Beach, Fla., where she’s getting ready for the first event. “He knows what’s wrong with my swing, if I’m doing something funky or not.
“It’s just that comfort level of knowing I have an extra pair of eyes to watch over me.”
Golf has long been a game passed down from father to son. one of the most celebrated examples is Earl Woods, who began teaching the game to Tiger at the age of 2, eventually watching him became the world’s No. 1 player.
Ken Lee-Bentham, 55, has been watching over the golf game of his daughter, the youngest of three kids, from the start. Seeing her potential, he pushed. Hard.
Rebecca admits it was “extremely difficult” at times as her dad had her log hours on the range instead of doing teenaged girl things like hang out with friends or go to the mall. A hitting net was set up in the garage in winter.
It was a work ethic built on a foundation familiar to so many immigrants. Ken Lee-Bentham and his wife of more than 30 years, Ann, also 55, came to Canada from South Korea — separately and alone — in their late teens.
“My family was never rich, so my dad would always tell me that I would have to work harder than most kids and make the most of the opportunities I got,” Rebecca Lee-Bentham said. “Seeing where I am now, I am extremely thankful to have a father that pushed me so hard.
“He taught me what hard work is and how to aim for higher things in life. And I know how lucky I am to have a family that loves and supports me the way they do.”
Ken Lee-Bentham admits he pushed his daughter. But, like the rest of their extended family, there have been personal sacrifices. He’s virtually abandoned his own four-times weekly golf game and several years ago quit his job as an electronic engineering technician to train and help coach her.
“I’m surprised,” he said when asked if he thought Rebecca would be on the LPGA Tour just seven years after picking up a club. “But I always believed, with all the hard work she put into her game, that she would make it.”
Lee-Bentham won the 2007 ontario Women’s Amateur, becoming the youngest champion at age 15. She took the Canadian junior title in 2010. Last summer, after completing her freshman year on a full golf scholarship at the University of Texas, she won the Canadian Women’s Amateur and tied for fourth at a CN Canadian Women’s Tour event against professionals.
In the fall of 2011, rather than return for her sophomore year in Texas, Lee-Bentham decided to turn pro and take a shot at LPGA Tour Qualifying School.
“It was a very hard decision to make,” she said. “I knew I was sacrificing getting a degree and a free education, but I just felt I had to take the risk.”
It was a decision supported by her golf coach and her entire family — an older sister and brother, mother who has worked in small, family businesses and grandparents who have paid many of the costs of her budding career.
“It’s going to happen maybe once every five years in Canada where we have a player come along with the quality, commitment, devotion and ability of Rebecca that makes it clearly the right move (to quit school),” said Derek Ingram, her coach with the women’s national team for the past two years.
At qualifying school in December, with her dad caddying, Lee-Bentham fired a five-under-par 67 in the fifth and final round in Daytona Beach to vault from 38th into a tie for ninth, earning her full playing privileges.
“I was so proud,” her dad said of that day. “Deep down, I cried happy tears.”
(Saturday, January 28, 2012 TORNOT STAR page A3)