섬김은 의무

영하 이십도 체감온도 사십 도. 이런 날 갈 곳이 없다면 그야말로 죽음이다.

토론토에도 노숙자가 적지 않다. 살을 에는 추위에 먹을 것이 없고 쉴 곳이 없다면 얼마나 난감할까. 노숙자분들을 위해 따뜻한 저녁 식사를 대접해 드리고, 잠자리를 마련하여 편히 쉴 수 있도록 하는 일은 보람된 일.

노숙자분들께 쉼터를 제공하는 일에 참여했다. 탁구대를 접어 창고에 들여놓고, 덮고 주무신 담요와 이불을 정리하여 세탁소로 보내고, 매트리스를 걸레로 닦아 차곡차곡 쌓아두고, 식탁과 의자를 소독하여 한곳에 보관하였다. 화장실의 변기통을 닦고 바닥도 쓸었다.

재미있는 것은 노숙자분 중 동양인이 보이지 않는다는 점. 토론토에는 많은 동양인이 힘겹게 일하고 어렵사리 돈을 버는데 어떻게 이곳에 오시는 분 중 동양인은 안 계실까?

홈 리스라고 특별한 사람들이 아니다. 살다 보면 어려운 일을 만나게 되고, 거리에 나가 앉게 되는 일이 생길 수 있다. 우리나라의 경우도 외환위기가 왔을 때 멀쩡하던 사람들이 거리로 나가 앉아야 했다. 만에 하나 그분들을 이상한 눈길로 바라본다든가, 게으르다고 손가락질하는 일은 없어야겠다.

 

50대 중반의 딸과 어머니는 있는 재산을 다 팔아 앨버타로 갔다. 그들이 가장 가고 싶어 했고 좋아했던 곳이었다. 그곳에서 두 사람은 자살을 기도했다. 어머니는 죽고 딸은 살아났다. 50대의 딸은 한때 간호사로 일하기도 했고 어려운 사람들을 돕는 일에도 앞장섰었다. 어머니의 병원비를 감당하느라 가진 돈을 써야 했으며 빚도 지게 되었다. 모녀는 자신들이 가장 좋아하는 로키 산맥에서 인위적으로 삶을 마감하기로 하고 실행에 옮긴 것이다. 슬프고 가슴 아픈 이야기.

 

  엄동득 선생님은 부산 영도여자 고등학교를 퇴임하셨다. 퇴임 전 의도적으로 침술을 배웠다. 은퇴 후 의료봉사활동을 펼치기 위함이었다. 이후 필리핀, 캄보디아 등에서 의료봉사활동을 펼치었다. 한번 가면 몇 개월을 머무르며 주민들을 섬기신다. 기회가 되면 다시 캄보디아로 가셔서 그곳 사람들을 섬길 계획이시다.   

     캄보디아에서는 영상 이십 도의 날씨에도 춥다고 외투를 껴입는 것을 보았다고 한다. 토론토의 매서운 추위는 처음 경험해보는 것이라며 혀를 내두르신다. 이런 추위에도 불구하고 따뜻한 곳에서 지낼 수 있는 건 감사한 일이 아니냐며 웃으신다.

    그곳은 개들이 많아 멀리서 짖기 시작하면 도미노 현상처럼 짖어대어 물결치듯 개 짖는 소리가 들린단다. 더위에 잠을 이루기가 무척 힘든 데 개까지 짖어대니 깊은 잠을 잘 수 없었다고 한다.

    그런 어려움에도 지구촌 사람들을 돕는 일에 먼저 팔을 걷어붙이시니 그야말로 멋진 인생을 사시는 분이다. 우리 모두에게 있어서 섬김은 선택이 아닌 의무인지도 모른다.

 

매서운 추위에 따뜻하게 지낼 수 있는 집이 있고, 자동차가 있어 걸어 다니지 않아도 되니 감사한 일이다. 어렸을 적 따뜻한 물을 쓰려면 아궁이에 불을 지펴야 했다. 매캐한 연기 때문에 눈물을 줄줄 흘리며 콜록거렸다. 칼바람이 부는 바깥에서 세수를 하고 양치질을 했던 기억이 난다. 지금은 24 시간 따뜻한 물이 나오는 실내에서 세수하고 양치질한다. 

 

<Linda McNall gets 8 months for assisting mother's suicide>

In a first for Alberta courts, a woman was sentenced today for helping her seriously ill mother die while carrying out a suicide pact last May.

Linda McNall, 53, was sentenced to time served, which amounted to eight months, for helping her mother commit suicide.

During the hearing in a Stony Plain courtroom west of Edmonton, Judge Charles Gardener wished McNall well.

"I hope you receive ongoing treatment and comfort and will come to see there is worth and value to your life," he said.

McNall and Shirley Vann, 79, drove from their home in Arizona to Rock Lake, Alta., to take their lives in “the most beautiful place on earth.”

Both women planned to die that day in May, but things didn’t go as planned. McNall survived and was arrested after showing up at a hospital in nearby Hinton.

Last month, she pleaded guilty to the rarely laid charge of assisting a suicide.

Both the Crown and defence made a joint submission recommending that McNall be sentenced to time already served, meaning she would spend no additional time in custody.

Linda McNall was sentenced to time already served for helping her mother commit suicide. (Amanda McRoberts )

​The maximum sentence for assisting suicide is 14 years in prison. The judge accepted the joint submission, noting that McNall was motivated by compassion for her mother and wanted to carry out her wishes.

On Wednesday, Canada Border Services guards will escort her to a plane that will take her to Phoenix, Ariz. However, it’s unclear what awaits her when she lands.

“It’s very scary: the unknown. You know, I’ve never been homeless before,” McNall said in an exclusive interview with CBC News prior to her sentencing hearing. “It’s really, it’s really just – it’s scary.

Defence lawyer Laura Stevens worries that McNall — who has twice since her arrest tried to kill herself at an Edmonton psychiatric facility — may end up in a homeless shelter instead of a hospital.

“The request by Canada for a hospital to hospital transfer directly has not been accepted," Stevens said.

"She will have to meet whatever requirements they have for getting a bed there. If they don't have a bed — and at this stage we are quite concerned that they will not because she can't afford to pay for one — she is likely to end up at a women's shelter."

In her interview with CBC News, McNall recalled the day she and her mother went to Rock Lake to end their lives.

“We ended up in Canada because we thought it the most beautiful place on earth,” she said.

“We went out there on a Wednesday afternoon, both of us happy, neither one of us with second thoughts.”

McNall, who was divorced following a brief marriage, and her mother were best friends. McNall has two brothers — she is estranged from one, the other vanished decades ago.

The mother and daughter moved from place to place — Florida, Nevada, Idaho and eventually ended up in Arizona.

McNall contracted Hepatitis C in the 1990s through a workplace injury. Severe depression led to her being on social security disability for seven years. She also is diabetic and suffers from chronic pain due to arthritis.

Shirley Vann had colon cancer, which McNall said caused her constant pain.

McNall said Vann talked about suicide for more than a year leading up to her death. With her mother's health deteriorating, McNall couldn’t imagine living without her.

There were also insurmountable medical bills -— about $100,000 in total.

While David Schwartz doesn't talk to McNall, his sister, he did call his mother each week and was aware of their problems.

“We — my wife and I and my family — helped them out as much as we could. But I just think it got so extensive they had no other recourse,” he said.

“You know the financial folks were on their back and they were both fairly ill. And I think it just ended up that they just got tired out.”

McNall said she initially tried talking her mother out of taking her life, the two women eventually made a suicide pact.

According to court documents, they sold all their possessions in March, gave notice to their landlord and wrote letters to Vann’s creditors.

They then packed up their two dogs and headed to Alberta, a place they had visited before.

When they arrived, McNall and Vann wrote one line on a piece of paper saying they were committing suicide.

They injected themselves and the dogs with insulin and McNall turned on a propane tank in their tent.

The next day Vann and the dogs were dead. McNall was still alive so she went into town to get more propane.

“Turned it on. Went to sleep. Woke up again,” she said.

“And at that point, I knew that we were out of money and I was so disoriented from the propane I couldn't think of any other way to kill myself there. So I decided to drive us into the hospital.”

RCMP became involved and McNall became the first person to be charged with assisting a suicide in Alberta history.

When McNall arrives in Arizona, she will be assessed by a caseworker and a crisis team.

Doctors believe McNall is still a suicide risk, but she hopes she won’t try again.

“I want to try real hard to make my mom proud,” she said.

<From CBC News Posted: Jan 07, 2014 4:00 AM MT>